There is a difference between ‘being direct’ and ‘being unpleasant’ and this is often confused in management practice.
Being direct is about stating efficiently and without emotional content what is required.
Being unpleasant is where negative emotional content is attached to the message (irrespective of the message)
Often, managers are accused of being overly ‘direct’ by people where they are simply being unpleasant. They go on courses and become more waffly, thanking the person for their time – smiling – listening and then being unpleasant…!
Being direct is a useful management skill – when briefing, reviewing giving feedback or delegating, cut to the chase and state simply and without emotional overtones what is needed or your views.
Learn to give messages in a clear and neutral tone – avoid giving instructions or feedback when you are annoyed and ensure you strip the message of emotional ‘pollution’.
You can then get the ‘job in hand’ achieved more efficiently and avoid any ambiguous overtones.
If your boss wants you to be less direct – are they actually being unpleasant and not direct themselves…?
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